Art

What is it? Is it the curious turn of the hair from which faint glimmers of Johnson's Baby Hair Oil are just barely unnoticeable? Is it the grotesque blob of fat that dangles precariously from the bottom of the chin? Is it the multicoloured balloon outfit?

What is it that makes this baby so mysterious?

Or as my friend and renowned critic of the arts put it, What the hell is that?(laughter) Just look at it!

When Murab Shariff*, a local Dubai photographer shot a standard issue passport-sized photo of a stunningly chubby baby girl, he was unaware that he would, in the future, be credited as the artist of the ugliest, funniest, weirdest baby picture that Kumarans had ever seen.

Hats off to you Mr Shariff*. If not for you, I might never have seen Aditi simultaneously laugh, eject various liquids from her nose and fall over the canteen ledge landing on and thereby distracting two very flushed eighth graders from what had obviously been a steamy make out session and flinging hot oopma over the entire high school in a manner similar to that of the elderly at a wedding. Standing under that warm shower of cracked wheat, struggling for breath due to a cracked rib, I thought, thank God for you Mr Shariff*, thank God for you.

* Name changed to ensure anonymity and hilarity.